I Can’t Wait to Finish Writing ‘Edna and Genevieve Escape From Curmudgeon Avenue’

It’s going to be a corker (even if I do say so myself). I have been privately joining in the National Novel Writing Month (without signing up). Below is a snippet from the first draft: 

‘After we all met up the other day, Mrs Ali was keen to have a chat with me, she’d had a private word with your mother and, well, we all figured it out’ Edith said,like a Scooby-do ending. ‘Gemma Hampsons is heavily pregnant’

 ‘Innit’ Said Wantha.

 ‘I meant, Wantha, she is almost close to bursting, she is more like nine months pregnant, which means that…’

 ‘Nine months ago was when Ricky Ricketts was doing that four week stretch for drunk and disorderly’ Said Wantha, with her own hint of hopefulness.

‘So he can’t be that baby’s father, God forgive me for saying that about the poor little mite’ Edith crossed herself, and she isn’t even Catholic.

 ‘It’s well tricky though because dates and stuff. And that would mean that your son’ Wantha folded her lips together and sucked in a load of air through her nose ‘That your son cheated on me.’

 Edith gasped and put her hand over her shame faced mouth.

 ‘Whilst drunk and disorderly’ Wantha shook her head in disgust.

 ‘Oh, oh I’m so sorry Wantha. I was hoping to make things better, but I think I’ve made them worse’

 ‘Ah no worries, Ediff, and anyway I have some good news for you’ Said Wantha.

 ‘Yes’ Said a hopeful Edith.

‘The other day, I decided I’m going to let Ricky Ricketts love me again’ Wantha said with the triumph of a cat that has just domineered the family dog. Edith sank down into her chair with the disappointment of a cat that has just discovered its biscuits have been stolen by the same family dog.

‘But how, he’s with Gemma now. They’re living together in her semi-detached house on Sunnybank Road’  Said Edith.

 ‘Ricky Ricketts cannot resist a bit of Wantha Rose, that’s how Ediff’ She sat back in her chair, triumphant once again, the situation now transformed into a game of cat and mouse.   

 Wantha instinctively started scrolling on her smart phone. There was no further news of Edna, although the last Wantha had heard was when Edna was on her way back to the Chateau Mademoiselle, not kidnapped as previously thought. However, when observing Facebook, Wantha and Edith had something to thank Pauline Foote for. Where she had thought she was grassing Wantha and Edith up for meeting behind  Gemma’s back, she had inadvertently hatched the two women’s plan ‘operation Wantha and Ricky’ by tagging them both in the same location. Wantha and Edith  clinked their coffee cups together in celebration ‘Cheers’ they said, which did  not go down well in the garden centre. Not in Summerseat Garden Centre, anyway.

 Meanwhile in a semi-detached house on Sunnybank Road, Gemma Hampsons, in the second week of her maternity leave was having a quick look at social media.

 ‘Ricky!’ She hollered down her mobile phone ‘What the hell is your mother doing,  cheating on me with Wantha Rose in Summerseat Garden Centre!’  

Copyright Samantha Henthorn 2018.

#This new WordPress is a nightmare.

Happy reading, Samantha

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