Hello, from today (15/5/2020) Edna and Genevieve Escape From Curmudgeon Avenue is on a Kindle Countdown deal. You can buy it (and other books) here in this contemporary F/F romance fiction promotion
Here is a sample chapter of Edna and Genevieve Escape From Curmudgeon Avenue
Chapter 17: The Poodle That Upset The Hornet’s Nest.
On this particular day in France, it was lovely weather for a walk in the countryside. Remember when I told you that Edna had only spoken to Genevieve superficially about the events of their separated decade? That was because Edna deemed Genevieve a flight risk. She had left once before, there was nothing to stop her from flying again. (Edna was not to know that Genevieve was trapped in France, unable to risk the channel crossing again for fear of arrest).
Edna’s fear of displeasing Genevieve was so strong that she had agreed to go on this countryside hike with her. Yes, you read that correctly, Edna Payne had decided to go on a walk with Genevieve Dubois, a long one.
‘Ah see my love,’ Genevieve playfully wrapped her arms around the majority of Edna’s middle. What a good idea walking had been. It was a beautiful day in a beautiful country. Mr and Mrs Bove had been thrilled to bits when the pair of lovers had announced their intentions for the day and politely declined to join them.
‘Do you remember when we first met?’ Genevieve asked both women had been guilty of adopting this line of questioning when romance was required. ‘You were walking then, you had walked all the way from… Prestwich.’
‘Oh, haha, oh not quite, just the other side of Whitefield if I remember rightly, I was going to Maurice’s art group. Oh, Genevieve, you do know he was the one responsible for Henri the Third’s death?’ Edna could not remember if this had come up in conversation when she had tried to contact Genevieve at the time, and that reminded Edna of something.
‘Oh! Non! My poor pussy cat.’
‘I’m sorry you trusted me to look after him.’
‘It’s okay, you weren’t to know Maurice was a cat murderer. How strange, though.’
(Ah, if only they knew the truth).
‘I do remember it was raining that day when you walked into my life,’ said Edna.
‘Ah yes, and there had been a bit of life drawing,’ Genevieve purred. The two women laughed.
‘I had never done anything as brazen as that before, my Edna.’
‘Really, well to tell you the truth, I modelled myself on you from that day.’ Edna said. ‘Yes, I was like a bottle of bubble bath before I met you, and you were like a sophisticated French perfume. I remember thinking that there was nothing more elegant than a French lover at the time.’
The two women held hands and walked further along the country road, garnished either side by sunflower fields and the occasional tree. There was no way that Genevieve could tell Edna the truth now, not all of the truth, anyway.
As the two of them turned a wind in the road, a family with a dog approached them walking rather swiftly. Must have been some sort of family power walking day out.
‘Bonjour’ Edna sang, Genevieve just smiled.
‘Alore! Don’t go any further, our dog has disturbed a hornet’s nest, there are thousands of them, we have had to run!’ The father of the family said, in alarmed French. Genevieve mumbled something in return, in broken French that meant absolutely nothing to the family. Edna smiled, oblivious to the whole situation. The two of them carried on walking, the family repeated their warnings but had no choice to remove themselves, their children and their French poodle from the scene.
‘What were they saying, Genevieve?’
‘Ah, they were saying they were in a rush because, erm their dog needed the toilet, and they had forgotten to bring a poo bag.’ Genevieve had to make something up, she had no clue what the man had said to her, such had been her absence from French-speaking company. ‘And I said, what a lovely dog.’
‘Oh haha, oh, well surely it would have been alright for the dog to go in the long grass, plenty of it around here’ Edna said, and Genevieve shrugged. But Edna had been reminded of something. She had spied on Genevieve’s Facebook account when they were apart. It had appeared that Genevieve had a French poodle of her own, now how was Edna going to get that into their conversation without revealing her spying behaviour?
‘Dogs are lovely, aren’t they?’ This was all Edna could manage. ‘Do you think you’d like a pet dog?’
‘Ah, I’ve always preferred cats, my love. Who knows, mon amie, in the fullness of time, there might be room for a Henri the Fourth!’ Genevieve said. ‘Oh, ooo is this now? What is it you say in England? It is like Piccadilly Circus around here!’
A farmer, who appeared to be driving his tractor in a desperate fashion approached the two women from on the other side of the hedging.
‘Don’t go any further madames’ he spoke in French. ‘A family has just alerted me there is a disturbed hornet’s nest ahead! I wouldn’t want you to get stung!’
‘Hahahaha oh Non-monsieur!’ Genevieve laughed, and Edna laughed too even though she had no clue what had just transgressed.
‘What did he say?’ said Edna.
‘Oh, he asked if we had seen a dog pooping in his field. I said no because we hadn’t had we?’ Genevieve breathed a sigh of relief, she had managed to keep up her facade. The two of them continued their walk, they had not been out that long after all. It had only been a matter of five or ten minutes before the sauntering pair met with the fate the French natives were trying to protect them from, and it was nothing to do with dog dirt.
‘What are they?’ Edna screamed. ‘Oh, oh Genevieve save me, those two are having sex!’ Edna pointed at what appeared to be a mating pair of Hornets. It was more likely that they were flying in paired drones, their attack pheromone triggered by the French poodle.
‘Oh they’re as big as mice!’Genevieve cried, swatting the beasties away from herself and from Edna. The two women clutched on to one another in the middle of France, surrounded by their own personal horror movie.
Later that same hour the two women had power walked to the Chateau le Grincheaux as fast as their mismatched legs could carry them. Genevieve was blind in her left eye due to swelling of an eyelid sting, and Edna had multiple bites on her limbs as a result of her loose-fitting tunic.
‘Oh, my goodness!’ Diane encouraged the two women to sit on her terrace furniture.
‘Oh, hornets, hornets! They attacked us!’ Edna wailed. ‘French wasps! They are evil!’ Edna was affronted. Genevieve clutched her (temporarily) blind face.
‘Aye, the old farmer has been going round in his tractor warning folk,’ said Jackson ‘Apparently a dog upset a nest or some such tale, that’ll be what caused it. They only sting when they’ve been attacked.’
‘Oh, non-monsieur, French hornets will sting anybody,’ Genevieve diverted the conversation. But Edna looked at her with an all-knowing look.
Ah well, another day is done, at least (temporarily) blind Genevieve has a good excuse not to go to Rocamadour.